Last week, we talked about loving others — especially when they’re hard to love.
But let’s be honest:
Sometimes, we’re the ones who are hard to love.
We lash out.
We shut down.
We pretend we’re fine while quietly pushing people away.
And often, it’s not because we’re cruel.
It’s because most of us were never taught what to do with our pain
We learned to repress it.
To push through.
To stay strong.
To pretend we don’t care.
To stay high-vibe. Stay on brand.
But unprocessed pain doesn’t just disappear.
It morphs.
Into control.
Into defensiveness.
Into a short fuse with the people closest to you.
And underneath all of it?
It’s usually not about them at all.
It’s about the war you’re still waging with yourself.
Mad that you stayed too long.
Mad that you didn’t speak up.
Mad that you let it happen again.
Mad that, after everything, you’re still not the version of yourself you hoped you'd be by now.
We don’t talk about this part of healing enough:
The hardest person to forgive is usually yourself.
You judge yourself for being reactive.
For caring too much — or not enough.
For disappointing others.
For disappointing yourself.
You become hard to be around…
because you’ve become hard to be with.
But healing doesn’t start with performative grace or superficial self care.
It starts with choosing to stay.
With yourself.
Right here.
Right now.
Even in the mess.
A Practice: Ho‘oponopono
This ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation is simple, yet powerful. It’s often practiced with others — but it can be just as transformative when you offer it to yourself.
✧ Step 1: Speak to the part of you that’s hurting.
Close your eyes.
Breathe.
Bring to mind the version of you that lashed out, shut down, or stayed silent.
The one who didn’t handle it the way you wish you had.
Then, say:
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I judged you. I’m sorry I ignored your pain.Please forgive me.
For the pressure. The punishment. The way I made you wrong for struggling.Thank you.
For surviving. For trying. For showing me what still needs healing.I love you.
Even here. Especially here.
✧ Step 2: Let that part respond.
Now imagine that part of you looking back — maybe it’s younger, maybe it just looks tired.
Let it speak the same words back to you:
I’m sorry.
For the pain I caused while trying to protect myself.Please forgive me.
For shutting you out. For making it harder.Thank you.
For staying. For not giving up on me.I love you.
Even when I forget how to show it.
✧ Step 3: Sit in the softness.
Don’t rush to fix anything.
Just notice the shift.
Let your nervous system recalibrate around this new relationship — one rooted in love and safety.
You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love.
You just have to be willing to show up with honesty and openness.
That’s the kind of love that rewrites patterns.
That softens the edges.
That brings you — and everyone you touch — back home.
Give it a try. Hit reply and let me know how it goes <3
With love,
Tiffany
When you’re ready, I can support you in two ways:
Akashic Records Sessions
Soul-level guidance to help you understand what’s underneath your patterns — and reconnect with the wisdom guiding you forward.
Private Mentoring
For those ready to drop the mask, lead from wholeness, and meet their next chapter with presence and power.
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