I used to think being spiritual meant staying calm while life fell apart.
Light a candle.
Breathe through the chaos.
Thank the Universe for “the lesson.”
But after a while, “trust the process” started to sound a lot like “ignore how you feel.”
Then a mentor suggested I write a complaint letter to God.
I laughed nervously. “You mean… like an actual letter?”
She nodded. “Yes. Write down everything you’re angry about.”
Immediately, my inner good girl panicked. Wait, you can do that?
I thought being spiritual meant expressing gratitude even when I wasn’t thankful. The idea of telling God I was mad felt like failing some invisible test.
But the truth was, I was furious.
Furious about timing that made no sense.
Furious about effort that went nowhere.
Furious that surrender felt like being ghosted.
So I wrote the letter.
It wasn’t pretty. There were bullet points. Possibly caps lock.
I listed everything that felt unfair: the doors that closed, the people who disappeared, the silence that made me question if any of this mattered.
Then I wrote how each one made me feel: embarrassed, heartbroken, disillusioned. And, as my mentor suggested, I listed what I wanted done about it.
I wasn’t demanding anything. But I was finally being honest…with God and with myself.
When I finished, nothing outside me had changed. But something inside me had.
My energy felt different, like I’d stopped bracing.
For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t trying to look spiritual. I was just being human.
What I Learned
Anger isn’t a lack of faith. It’s proof you still care.
When you’re angry at the Universe, you’re still in relationship.
What distorts the connection isn’t anger, it’s pretending you’re fine when you’re not.
We often confuse composure with devotion, but composure without honesty is just emotional suppression. It restricts the natural flow of energy. Truth is what restores it.
When I stopped managing how I should feel and told the truth about how I actually did, something opened. My body softened. My mind quieted.
The space between me and God felt alive again.
Bringing It Back Into Flow
The problem isn’t that we feel too much.
It’s that we don’t let what we feel move through.
We hold emotions behind “I’m fine” smiles. We tighten around what needs release. That’s what keeps us stuck, not the emotion itself, but our resistance to it.
Here’s what helps:
Step 1: Acknowledge and Feel It
You can’t heal what you won’t feel.
Most of us skip this step because we’re afraid it’ll swallow us whole. It won’t. It just wants to move.
Set a timer for five minutes. Feel whatever’s there: anger, sadness, resentment.
Don’t analyze it. Don’t make it spiritual. Just be with it.
It’ll pass faster than you think once you stop running from it.
Step 2: Accept What’s Happened
Acceptance isn’t agreement. It’s acknowledgment.
It’s the point where you stop resisting what is.
When you accept, your energy returns to the present, the only place movement is possible.
Acceptance doesn’t condone or condemn. It simply says, “This happened.” And from there, you can ask, “What now?”
Step 3: Return to Neutrality
Once you’ve felt what’s real and accepted what’s true, clarity follows.
Neutrality isn’t detachment, it’s perspective. It’s seeing things as they are, without exaggerating or minimizing them.
From there, better questions arise:
What expectation did this challenge?
Where was I trying to control what wasn’t mine?
What might this be teaching me?
Neutrality turns emotion into insight. It’s what allows you to respond instead of react.
The Real Lesson
Spiritual growth isn’t about avoiding emotion. It’s about being honest with what’s real.
Feeling anger, sadness, or disappointment isn’t failure; it’s a sign you’re alive and in relationship with life itself.
Peace comes from allowing truth to move through you and meeting yourself there with compassion.
The Universe doesn’t need your composure. It needs your sincerity. It can handle your anger. The question is, can you?
Weekend Reflection
If you wrote a complaint letter to God, what would it say?
What truth have you been holding back because it doesn’t sound “spiritual”?
What emotion have you been managing instead of feeling?
Set a timer. Feel it fully. Accept what’s happened.
Peace doesn’t come from holding it together, it comes from finally being honest about what’s already here.
“Within our emotions lie answers, truths and instructions.”
— Sam Owens
Hi, I’m Tiffany May Yan Chan, a spiritual advisor for leaders bringing consciousness into how they live and lead.
When you’re ready to deepen, there are two ways I can help:
Akashic Records Sessions
Get clarity on what matters most.
Private Mentoring
For those on the path of spiritual expansion.
.
Well said!
Such a beautiful and important shift from the spiritual narrative many of us grew up with! Emotion = energy in motion. Yes- we have to let is move thru us!